Are you on tinder? So am I🙀.

Before you start judging, hear me out for a second. I would have never thought that yours truly would end up looking for a guy on a dating app. The mere thought of this brought chills down my back. I mean I should have thousands, hundreds , tens (okay ☹️maybe five max) guys lied up professing their love for me.

Truth be told I have not had much luck as far as the opposite sex is concerned. Believe me I’ve tried but I guess the issue is just that I still don’t know my type.., and this kills me. So I said what the heck... you die once and I want to experience as much in this world as I can. 

PS: don’t share this article with my mama😡. I mean it. Don’t even dare🥺 please.

So where was I.. oh yeah Tinder. 

Whoever or whomever has not tried this dating app or any other dating app should do so. I mean if you have candy crush then you might as well clear up your phone of some unwanted apps and download Tinder. Am serious. 😡

Imagine a place where available men are paraded just for you. Different physic, skin tone and some are generous enough to let you know what they are looking for in a woman( bless tinder’s soul 🙏).The thing I like most about this app is the simple left and right swipe that changes everything. Have you ever tried to say no to a guy face to face but you couldn’t cause you didn’t want to appear in humane? Well tinder’s gotcha!  See what you like swipe right and send a text that helps you break the ice so to speak. If you don’t like his face or nose, don’t worry. All you have to do is swipe left and it’s bye bye Mr. Forehead....(😉).

Don’t get me started on the security of this app. I mean all you have to do is keep the conversation on the app until both of you feel like it’s time to take the big step and finally get married... excuse me I mean meet face to face.

I need to stop rushing things😞.

Why did I result to apps and not old school bumping into someone on the street or a guy approaching me and asking for my number? Well, the old school methods don’t seem to work for me. I mean they work in the Korean movies I watch but real life nah!

I have had a couple of face to face dates but didn’t result into the 3 month dating, 3 month engagement and 6 month wedding preparation as planned. (I know I need to get a 🐈 or a atleast a hobby).

So next time you want to get a guy to text you longer than the average guy does...download a dating app. 

If you like seeing before meeting and knowing what’s in the market... download a bloody dating app.

You’ll thank me later👍

Molested at a Massage Parlor...I think🤔

It all started well. Don’t get me wrong. I knew what I wanted when I saw the package and the different offers. I wanted the whole shabang! One of the reasons I chose the whole pack was because it was the one that lasts the longest. 1.5 hrs can you believe that.

I mean if am going to use a Zawadi pack I’ll use it to the fullest.

Perhaps a few steps back so that you know how I landed a 100$ Zawadi voucher.

I recently was let go of a position I held for 4.8years. Their loss right? I gave my all and they waited for rona to get rid of my natural black bum. Anywho, water under the bridge. One of the parting gifts was the Zawadi pack. The pack has a long-range of different things that one can opt for. From Rhumba, yoga training, Ziplining, salon, massage parlor, etc. that’s how I ended up resorting to being touched instead.

I had heard rumors of how prepared one needed to be and being sure of what was expected. I had no clue and decide to shower and take an Uber all the way to the designated place. The sky was blue, my moods were right. I knew I was going to get massaged no matter the plight. ( see what I just did there😉).

First I’m an open-minded person. Nobody agrees with that but what the kite... they don’t know me. When the sweet mid-forties lady excused herself so that I could strip and get under the cover, I was so excited about the level of respect that she showed. I did as she instructed no questions asked. I mean she knew what she was doing.

She opted for the facial first followed by the massage. I just nodded and went along with her merry plan of getting me relaxed and RELAXED.

Once she went for the full body massage the ambiance of the room turned south real quick. The shoulder rub made me drool 🤤 a bit cause my neck started getting straightened. The leg muscles started going back to their original places where the maker had intended them to be. And I was grateful to this lady with whom I only had a first-name basis relation.

When her hands started going up my legs and the sheets started being moved weirdly, that was when I got confused. How did our relationship move so far so fast? I got puzzled. Her touch stopped being respectful and started being “Professional”.

My inner voice was like “leave”. Just get up and go. But the 100$ Zawadi package kept flushing on my face saying ...bitch you better man up! I don’t know what’s worse, the fact that I felt uncomfortable but never said anything or the mere fact that I might have been molested at a massage parlor...I think.